My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
