i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
