to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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