my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
