Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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