drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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