my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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