its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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