you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
