Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
if only i could text you this smell
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
