What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Life is so much better after having sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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