when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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