look no pants
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
