I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize