So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
