Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

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(831): View more from California

Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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(613): View more from Ontario

There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

you want your laptop back?

(1-916): View more from California

are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

(916): View more from California

both.

(1-916): View more from California

come over.

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(303): View more from Colorado

When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

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(802): View more from Vermont

Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

(802): View more from Vermont

'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.

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