I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going