Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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