i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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