All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
