At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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