kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
