I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
