apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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