sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
