Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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