I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So vagazzling was a success
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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