i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
