once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
