pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My cat gives me a boner
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
