apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
