I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
PANTIES FOUND
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