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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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