How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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