I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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