I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm passing your future prison.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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