He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
