I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
