it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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