can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
