onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
