My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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