just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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