I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
