i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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