The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize