Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
