I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
