please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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