I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
porn star boner night. come get it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
NoShamevember. You game?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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