Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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