Already got asked if we're dating
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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