I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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