Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
