somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
