I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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