i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
