just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
