Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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