I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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