I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
