The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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