I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
