Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
