I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He shit in the fireplace
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize