I faked an abortion last night.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
