we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
